A relationship is a koan

   A relationship is a koan. And unless you have solved a more fundamental thing about yourself, you cannot solve it. The problem of love can be solved only when the problem of meditation has been solved, not before it. 
   Because it is really two non-meditative persons who are creating the problem. Two persons who are in confusion, who don't know who they are -- naturally they multiply each other's confusion, they magnify it.

   Unless meditation is achieved, love remains a misery. Once you have learned how to live alone, once you have learned how to enjoy your simple existence, for no reason at all, then there is a possibility of solving the second, more complicated problem of two persons being together. 

   Only two meditators can live in love -- and then love will not be a koan. 

   But then it will not be a relationship either, in the sense that you understand it. It will be simply a state of love, not a state of relationship.

Osho